Relationship satisfaction can be improved with small cognitive shifts called "love hacks." These involve changing one's internal narrative rather than external realities, such as adopting a "growth mindset" about compatibility or reinterpreting a partner's negative behavior more charitably (e.g., as situational rather than characterological).

Insisting a partner must change for you to be happy creates a state of "self-justifying passivity." You become trapped waiting for them, rather than reclaiming your power to improve the relationship by being the one who moves first towards understanding.

Women often focus on pleasing men by catering to preferences, a behavior rooted in survival instincts. However, men place far greater value on being admired, accepted, and empowered. They consider 'being pleased' a low-priority concern that comes after all major goals are accomplished.

Psychologist James Cordova describes the "paradox of acceptance": the less you actively try to change your partner, the more willing they become to change. This requires genuine surrender, as feigning acceptance with the ulterior motive of instigating change is transparent and ineffective.

Contrary to common advice, high expectations aren't inherently bad for marriage. They create a bifurcation: couples who invest enough to meet these expectations achieve unprecedented levels of fulfillment, while those who can't are often unhappier than couples from past eras with lower expectations.

Historically, people lived in communities with extended kin networks that met various social and emotional needs. Today, with the rise of the nuclear family and social isolation, individuals expect their romantic partner to be their stable companion, passionate lover, and entire support system—an impossible set of demands for one person to meet.

Psychologist Eli Finkel's "suffocation model" suggests contemporary couples expect their partners to provide not just love, but also personal growth and self-actualization—needs once met by an entire community. This overload of expectations can damage a relationship if not met with sufficient investment of time and energy.

Men aren't looking for a partner who mirrors their own strengths. Instead, they search for someone with complementary skills and attributes that alter and enhance their own potential, much like a star quarterback seeks a star receiver. Criticizing a man for not having her strengths is deeply counterproductive.

The intense search for a career "calling" has become psychologically parallel to the search for a romantic soulmate. Both are driven by a "don't settle" mindset and create impossibly high expectations, often leading to disappointment and strained relationships when reality doesn't match the ideal.