A common misconception is that exercising feminine energy—being empathetic and collaborative—equates to being a pushover. This is false. Leaders can and should maintain strong, clear boundaries while leading from a place of empathy and creativity.
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Avoid committing to a single leadership style. Instead, view different approaches (e.g., empathetic vs. autocratic) as tools in a toolkit. A skilled leader knows which tool is appropriate for a given situation, even if it's not their default preference.
The societal message that women should be quieter or less bold is a historical strategy for control. This fear is rooted in the perceived "safety" of conforming to unnatural, prescribed roles, making women believe the problem is with them, not the system.
For leaders who are natural empaths, a key growth area is learning to separate deep personal care for team members from the objective needs of the business. This includes recognizing that letting someone go can be the most loving and correct decision for the individual, the team, and the company.
Feminine energy in a leadership context refers to traits like empathy, intuition, and creativity. These are not exclusive to women; all leaders, regardless of gender, possess and can draw upon both feminine and masculine energies.
Brené Brown distinguishes two types of empathy. Cognitive empathy (understanding and validating feelings) is a core leadership skill. Affective empathy (taking on others' emotions) is counterproductive and leads to burnout. Leaders must practice the former and avoid the latter.
The recent shift toward valuing feminine leadership traits is driven by two key factors. Younger generations entering the workforce demand authenticity as a non-negotiable, while crises like COVID forced companies to rapidly adopt more people-centric approaches.
Being a "nice" boss often means pleasing the majority and avoiding conflict. True kindness in leadership involves toughness—holding high standards and having difficult conversations because you have your team's best interests at heart. Kindness is about betterment, not just being liked.
Empathy, defined as merely feeling another's pain, is overrated and can lead to inaction. Effective leadership requires compassion: understanding a problem, feeling a connection, identifying a solution, and having the courage to implement it, even when it's difficult or unpopular.
The tension between being powerful and being likable is a false binary. Instead of choosing one, combine seemingly contradictory traits to define an authentic leadership style, such as "competitively calm" or "ambitiously communal." This creates a more effective and genuine communication persona.
Contrary to common belief, empathy isn't a fixed personality trait. It's a learnable skill that can be intentionally developed through practices like creative questioning and active listening, making it an accessible and necessary competency for all leaders.