Low standards in relationships often stem from a deep-seated fear of being alone, causing people to settle. Conversely, genuinely high standards are not about being demanding but are a natural result of being at peace with yourself and your own company.

Based on attachment theory, a common dysfunctional dating pattern occurs when an anxiously attached person (fearing abandonment) pursues an avoidantly attached person (fearing being smothered). Their behaviors reinforce each other's deepest fears, creating an unhappy loop.

The quality of your external relationships is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. Before choosing friends or being a good friend, you must understand your own values and needs. A lack of self-love manifests as judgment and imbalance in friendships, as we act as mirrors for one another.

The people we attract, especially romantic partners, are not random. They serve as mirrors reflecting our unhealed wounds. An inconsistent partner, for example, appears because the universe is providing an opportunity to heal the part of you that feels it only deserves emotional "breadcrumbs."

While seeming curious, relentlessly asking questions keeps the spotlight on the other person and away from yourself. This tactic, often used by insecure individuals, prevents you from having to share, be seen, and risk rejection, ultimately sabotaging any chance of a real two-way connection.

An obsessive attachment to another person is not about the qualities of that person (the "drug"). It is a symptom of deeper internal issues and traumas. The relationship is merely the mechanism you are using to cope with your own pain, creating a cycle of dependency.

An extreme crush on someone is often not about them, but about a "misplaced ambition." We see traits in them that we feel we lack (e.g., confidence, talent), and their acceptance of us feels like a validation of our own perceived shortcomings.

Relationships don't start in earnest until the initial fantasy shatters. This 'crisis of disappointment' happens when partners see each other realistically for the first time, flaws and all. Only after this moment can a genuine connection be built on who the person actually is, rather than on an idealized projection.

Constantly feeling let down by people is a symptom of your own issues, not theirs. It often points to an inflated ego, deep-seated insecurity, and the tendency to place unrealistic expectations on others. The solution is internal reflection, not external blame.