Contrary to the popular idea that you must fully "know yourself" before a relationship, the real prerequisite is establishing self-worth and understanding how you deserve to be treated. True self-discovery about your wants and needs often happens *within* relationships, not before them.

The quality of your external relationships is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. Before choosing friends or being a good friend, you must understand your own values and needs. A lack of self-love manifests as judgment and imbalance in friendships, as we act as mirrors for one another.

Contrary to popular belief, a degree of pessimism is a useful tool for building resilient relationships. Expecting a partner to be imperfect, frustrating, and disappointing at times creates a stronger foundation than entering a relationship with idealized, fragile expectations.

The search for a 'perfect' partner is futile. Like an entrepreneur choosing a business, find someone who ticks the essential boxes and then commit to building something great together. An extraordinary relationship isn't found; it's created through sustained effort with a well-chosen partner.

Many are drawn to "chemical attraction"—an intense rush often rooted in trauma bonds. A healthier foundation is "safety attraction," where you feel emotionally and psychologically safe to be your authentic self. This shift from chasing a high to seeking safety is critical for lasting relationships.

To attract the right partner, you must stop the attention-seeking behaviors that appeal to a wide, superficial audience. This intentional shift makes you less attractive to the masses but magnetic to the right person, effectively shrinking your pool to increase its quality.

There are two types of confidence: one derived from external validation (being chosen) and one built from within. The former is fragile and evaporates upon rejection, while true confidence is the internal knowledge that you will be okay regardless of relationship outcomes.

The intense search for a career "calling" has become psychologically parallel to the search for a romantic soulmate. Both are driven by a "don't settle" mindset and create impossibly high expectations, often leading to disappointment and strained relationships when reality doesn't match the ideal.

Demanding profound depth from every relationship is a recipe for loneliness. A healthier social life involves accepting different tiers of friendship, from deep, family-like bonds to casual acquaintances you enjoy seeing occasionally. Not every connection needs to be a '100 or zero' scenario.