During 20 years of struggle, Tabitha Brown sustained her belief by recognizing small "signs of confirmation." A stranger mistaking her for a TV star or a brief vision of herself on a red carpet acted as crucial fuel, confirming she was on the right path long before tangible success arrived.

Purpose isn't a pre-existing truth you find, like an archaeological dig. It's something you actively build, like an architect. You choose an area of interest, invest energy to build skill, and it transforms into a passion through a feedback loop of personal fascination and external validation.

This three-part definition clarifies a vague concept. True "life's work" is not just a job; it's a long-term pursuit (lifelong quest), it's service-oriented (for others), and it's deeply authentic (expresses who you are). Few people achieve this, but it's a worthy aspiration.

To find your true calling, divide your life into five-year increments. For each block, list what you loved doing and what others said you excelled at. The seven or so themes that repeatedly emerge point directly to your core purpose and passion, which often get lost in the pursuit of money.

The ultimate aim is not to achieve conventional success, but to fully express your unique self. This lifelong project is paradoxical: you cannot become unique by yourself. You need others—friends, family, customers—to reflect your authentic self back to you, helping you see who you are.

Many people find their calling not by pursuing a lifelong dream, but through a process of discernment. This involves engaging in new experiences, reflecting on what provides fulfillment, and then using those insights to inform the next step in a continuous cycle of trial and error.

While "push" motivation (willpower) is powerful, it has limits. True, sustainable energy comes from "pull" motivation—being drawn forward by a cause or purpose you care about more than your own needs. This is the secret to sustained drive.

Many goals are abandoned because they are chosen to look good to others rather than tapping into a deep, personal meaning. An authentic, internal "why" provides the resilience needed to overcome challenges, unlike a superficial or performative one that collapses under pressure.

Goals (e.g., "be a doctor," "be happy") are outcome-focused and can lead to frustration if not achieved. Intentions (e.g., "act with kindness") are process-focused and within your control in any moment. Centering your life on intentions creates a stable internal anchor, regardless of your job title or external circumstances.