People facing death find joy not because their suffering is gone, but because they consciously look for and acknowledge positive moments. A dying client used a simple tally device, a "joy counter," to track every small good thing, which retrained his focus on what was still present and good in his life.
To combat the feeling of time accelerating with age, actively practice feeling. By consciously allowing yourself to weep at something moving or laugh out loud at something funny, you register moments more deeply. This slows down your perception of life and prevents you from merely ripping through it.
Writing down specific images from your day is more than memory-keeping; it’s attention training. This practice trains your eye to seek out small, nourishing moments you'd otherwise miss, like a dog napping in the sun. It actively rewires your focus toward what matters and what you want more of.
In Bhutan, one of the world's happiest countries, citizens are encouraged to think about death daily. This seemingly morbid practice serves a psychological purpose: embracing mortality and impermanence strips away trivial anxieties and forces a focus on what truly matters, leading to a happier, more meaningful life.
Jacob Collier distinguishes joy from mere happiness. He defines joy as a 'defiant act' of feeling vital and alive, even amid chaos. It's not about ignoring negative experiences but incorporating the full spectrum of life, which is a powerful way to connect with purpose.
We often seek a consistently high standard of living, but happiness is most intensely felt as a contrast to a previous, lesser state. A man blind for 46 years found more joy in a drab office carpet than most people find in a perfect sunset, because the contrast was so profound.
Instead of attempting massive life changes, author Rachel Macy Stafford found that a small, daily 10-minute period of distraction-free connection with herself was the foundation for joy. The key conditions: no phone, no computer, no to-do list, and no expectations—just a willingness to listen.
Counteract the human tendency to focus on negativity by consciously treating positive events as abundant and interconnected ("plural") while framing negative events as isolated incidents ("singular"). This mental model helps block negative prophecies from taking hold.
At the end of life, people don't reminisce about grand accomplishments but long for simple, ordinary pleasures like sharing a meal with loved ones. This suggests that a meaningful life is built in the quiet, everyday moments, not just the major milestones like promotions or awards.
Scientific studies show gratitude is unique: it cannot share brain space with anxiety, depression, or anger. Intentionally introducing gratitude immediately displaces negative emotions, making it a powerful and fast-acting tool for managing your mental state.
Instead of trying to eliminate suffering in ourselves or others, adopt a "ministry of presence." This means showing up with a loving heart to be with painful emotions as they are, creating a spacious and compassionate inner environment. This transforms our relationship with pain, even if the pain itself doesn't disappear.