Taking responsibility isn't about blaming yourself for past abuse. It's about identifying how, as an adult, your choices and behaviors unconsciously perpetuate the patterns from that trauma, giving you the power to change them.

Trying to eliminate trauma is counterproductive. Instead, reframe its role by acknowledging it as a protective mechanism in your left brain. Thank it for its information, then consciously shift focus to other brain regions to self-soothe and move forward.

The self-critical voice that tells you you're not good enough is not inherently yours. It is an echo of criticism from a parent, teacher, or other authority figure from your childhood that you have mistakenly internalized as truth. Recognizing its external origin is the first step to disarming it.

In moments of intense crisis, separate your identity into two parts: the panicked "messy pilot" and the wise, observant "co-pilot." This technique creates psychological distance, allowing you to non-judgmentally witness your own chaotic reactions. This shift in perspective helps you regain control and calms your physiological stress response.

Your authentic self is often buried under false, negative beliefs learned from past trauma. The process of uncovering it involves explicitly stating these painful beliefs out loud, tracing their origins, and consciously discarding them to make space for your true identity to be named.

When triggered, your wounded inner child takes control and makes decisions that recreate past pain. The work is to recognize this shift, differentiate your wise adult self from this wounded part, and then let the wise self compassionately guide your actions.

Putting words to trauma, through speaking or writing, creates psychological distance. This allows you to view your own experience with the same objective compassion you would offer someone else, thereby breaking the cycle of internalized guilt and shame.

To combat negative self-talk like "I'm worthless," simply trying to stop the thought is ineffective. A better technique is to add a contrasting, positive truth. Acknowledging "I'm anxious and afraid, but I'm also courageous and brave" breaks the cycle by accepting the feeling while introducing an empowering reality.

The impulse to harshly judge yourself before others can is a defense mechanism rooted in past pain. A more powerful, healed stance is to simply become unavailable for external criticism, effectively removing the "button" that others can push.