While building an identity around a habit is powerful (e.g., "I am a writer"), that same identity can later prevent growth. A surgeon who identifies with old methods may resist new technology. Your identity must continually be refined and updated, or it will prevent adaptation.
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The common advice to 'find your purpose' can be counterproductive. It boxes you into a static self-identity, creating friction and existential crises whenever you grow or your interests change. A more flexible approach is to focus on a set of core values that guide you, rather than a single, reductive 'purpose'.
Habits must evolve with life's seasons (e.g., career changes, having children). A habit that served you well in one phase may hold you back in the next. Be willing to give up old, successful routines that no longer align with your current priorities and identity.
View yourself not as a static entity with fixed traits, but as an ever-evolving process. This shift in perspective, suggested by political scientist J. Eric Oliver, allows for growth and change, freeing you from the illusion that you are "stuck" in your current state.
Bestselling author Mark Manson avoids over-identifying as "an author" to prevent getting trapped. He views professional labels as temporary roles he can relinquish, enabling personal growth and change without an identity crisis. This fluidity is a key to adaptation.
We all have an internal "thermostat" for success. If we deviate too far from this setting, our subconscious mind pulls us back to our comfort zone. Lasting change requires recalibrating this core identity, not just changing actions or setting goals.
When your entire sense of self is tied to your profession, you build a prison. Any threat to your work becomes a threat to your existence. A resilient identity is like a diversified portfolio, with investments in family, hobbies, and community, not just a single stock.
One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth is that the people around you have a fixed mental model of who you are. When you change, you destabilize their reality, and they will unconsciously try to nudge you back into your familiar role. This social pressure makes reinvention feel like breaking out of an invisible prison.
Leveling up in your career is not just about gaining new skills; it's about shedding old identities and relationships. This separation is a necessary, albeit painful, part of growth, like a butterfly leaving its cocoon.
Being beholden to a specific label like "professor" or "lawyer" severely restricts your options. Instead, focus on the desired lifestyle or impact (e.g., "a flexible life where I teach people"). Releasing the need for a specific label opens up a much wider array of possibilities to achieve your underlying goals.
When leaders get stuck, their instinct is to work harder or learn new tactics. However, lasting growth comes from examining the underlying beliefs that drive their actions. This internal 'operating system' must be updated, because the beliefs that led to initial success often become the very blockers that prevent advancement to the next level.