Relationship satisfaction can be improved with small cognitive shifts called "love hacks." These involve changing one's internal narrative rather than external realities, such as adopting a "growth mindset" about compatibility or reinterpreting a partner's negative behavior more charitably (e.g., as situational rather than characterological).

Deep connection relies on a shared “fun age”—a mutual understanding of what constitutes play and enjoyment. Whether it’s childlike pranks or quiet domesticity, having compatible fun ages allows partners to cultivate both levity and gravity, which is essential for long-term relational health.

To counteract the "suffocation model," couples can strengthen their bond by not relying on it for every need. Building a diversified "social portfolio"—turning to different friends, family, and hobbies for various forms of emotional support and fulfillment—reduces pressure on the marriage and improves overall happiness.

Deep intimacy is not a passive state but an active skill that requires practice. Difficult emotional work, like apologizing first, will feel clumsy initially, just like learning an instrument. Gracefulness and effectiveness only come through consistent repetition and treating it as a formal practice.

According to researcher John Gottman, successful couples don't always resolve every fight. Many long-term partners acknowledge that some disagreements are perpetual and learn to live with them, accepting them as a feature of the relationship rather than a fatal flaw.

The host uses a "30/30" rule for her marriage: 30 minutes of play and 30 minutes of intentional conversation. Co-founders can adapt this to build rapport and tackle strategic issues. This structured check-in prevents important, non-urgent conversations from being postponed, ensuring long-term alignment.

A common myth is that good relationships lack conflict. The reality is that the strength of a relationship is determined by its ability to manage and grow from conflict. The key metric is whether each argument makes the bond stronger (healing to 101%) or weaker (healing to 99%).

Don't let the cofounder dynamic run on autopilot. Proactively establish "vows"—commitments on decision-making and conflict resolution. Then, create a regular relationship rhythm for check-ins. This practice of stepping "onto the balcony" to observe the relationship is crucial for long-term health and success.

The biggest unlock for a successful long-term partnership is to stop keeping score. Instead of tracking contributions and demanding reciprocity, one should define their own standard for being a good partner and live up to it. This approach avoids the bias of overvaluing one's own contributions, preventing transactional resentment.