While surveys show women rate ambition in partners higher than men do, behavioral studies like speed dating reveal both genders equally prefer ambitious partners, choosing them 60% of the time. What people say they want versus what they actually choose are two different things.

Men have fewer socially acceptable ways to enhance their attractiveness compared to women, making female judgment based on looks seem "unfair." This has fostered a cultural myth that women don't care about men's appearances, reframing a natural response as a shallow choice.

The evolutionary preference for women to seek partners of higher or equal socioeconomic status (hypergamy) persists despite their own career success. As more women outperform men financially, their pool of 'eligible' partners shrinks, creating intense competition for a small group of high-earning men.

Men's pursuit of extreme muscularity and masculinized features is often a failure of cross-sex mind reading. They are coding for formidability and respect from other men, whereas research suggests women often prefer a more neutral or even slightly feminized face combined with a masculinized body.

Men often leverage their financial success as a primary tool of attraction in dating. In contrast, successful women frequently downplay their wealth due to a conditioned fear of being pursued for their money rather than their character—a concern their male counterparts rarely share.

Instead of trading their own financial success for other traits in a partner, high-achieving women tend to elevate their preferences universally. This reflects a personality trait of having high standards in all life areas, including seeking partners who are equally exceptional in looks, ambition, and character.

There is a significant gap between people's stated preferences (what they say they want) and their revealed preferences (who they are attracted to in real interactions). For example, men and women both claim different priorities, but in speed-dating scenarios, both genders show strong attraction to ambitious and physically attractive partners with no significant gender difference.

Data from a global quiz reveals a strong, sex-specific trend where men are driven by Nietzsche's "will to power"—the desire to be feared or respected. Most men would choose status over luxury items, a pattern rooted in evolutionary psychology.

Although surveys show women prioritize earning potential more than men, Dr. Eastwick's speed-dating data reveals that when evaluating actual people, both genders are equally attracted to ambitious partners with high earning prospects. Stated preference differs from revealed preference.