When teams present a binary choice (A or B), it's often an 'illusion of choice' designed to simplify their work. Parker Conrad's default reaction is to reject the premise and insist on finding a way to do both, forcing the team to find a third path or discover that the perceived constraints weren't real.

Most people make poor decisions because they are trapped by emotions and view the world in simple binaries. A better approach is to map a situation's full complexity, understand its trade-offs, and recognize where others are getting stuck in their feelings, thus avoiding those same traps.

Being too rigid about *how* a goal is achieved causes leaders to act from a place of fear or scarcity. By staying fixed on the desired outcome but remaining flexible on the path to get there, you can avoid this reactive behavior and remain open to better possibilities.

Instead of framing choices as trade-offs (“Should I be an academic or a consultant?”), reframe them as synergistic goals (“How can I be an academic in order to have impact?”). This simple linguistic shift forces the brain to seek creative, integrated possibilities that were previously invisible.

An action-biased culture pushes us to solve problems immediately. A more sustainable approach is a three-step process: Uncover the underlying belief, Unpack why it exists and how it has served you, and only then Unblock by reframing it and taking new action.

When you find yourself trapped in binary thinking (e.g., "buy the car or don't," "leave the job or stay"), it is a clear indicator of unexpressed fear. Fear restricts your perspective to black-and-white choices, hindering effective problem-solving. Acknowledging the underlying fear is the first step to seeing more creative solutions.

When reacting to a negative experience, like having an absent parent, the tendency is to swing to the extreme opposite, like being an over-present parent. This overcorrection often creates a new set of problems instead of finding a healthy balance, perpetuating a cycle of dysfunction.

Negative thinking follows predictable patterns called "cognitive distortions." The "CAMOS" framework categorizes these into five archetypes: Catastrophizer, Always Righter, Mind Reader, Overgeneralizer, and Should-er. Identifying which archetype is active helps turn a vague sense of negativity into a specific, diagnosable problem that can be systematically addressed and reframed.

When feeling stuck, start with your desired outcome and work backward. Ask: What action is needed? What feeling enables that action? What thought or belief creates that feeling? This process quickly reveals if your current beliefs are misaligned with your goals, pinpointing where to reframe.