When creating something new, like a book about overcoming trauma, you cannot do it from the mindset of that trauma (e.g., "I'm not good enough"). You must consciously step into the identity of your future, more realized self and create from that place of confidence.
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Contrary to popular belief, your "positive possible future" self—an ambitious, idealized version of you—determines your current motivation and actions more than your past traumas do. Focusing on this future vision is the key to unlocking present-day drive and change.
Since the brain builds future predictions from past experiences, you can architect your future self by intentionally creating new experiences today. By exposing yourself to new ideas and practicing new skills, you create the seeds for future automatic predictions and behaviors, giving you agency over who you become.
Your authentic self is often buried under false, negative beliefs learned from past trauma. The process of uncovering it involves explicitly stating these painful beliefs out loud, tracing their origins, and consciously discarding them to make space for your true identity to be named.
Instead of letting past trauma define the rest of your life, use the pain as fuel. The suffering is real and has already been endured, so you might as well channel that experience into achieving something that makes it worthwhile. Don't let your abusers win by destroying your future; get a reward for your pain.
Recovery from a life-altering event isn't about returning to your old self; that self no longer exists. True healing is a creative process of discovering who you are now. It requires imagination to invent new habits, goals, and rituals that fit your new reality, rather than trying to salvage old ones.
People fail to change because they start with strategy (the 'how-to'). The correct order for a breakthrough is: change your emotional State, then rewrite your limiting Story (beliefs), and only then apply a Strategy. An empowered state and story make any strategy viable.
Hiding painful experiences or parts of your identity out of shame gives those secrets power over your life. By speaking your truth and sharing your story, you reclaim control, remove the shame, and can define the narrative's outcome.
Manifestation fails when focused on 'wanting' something you lack. The key is to shift from a future fantasy to a present identity. Define 'the person who' has what you desire and begin acting as that person today. This internal identity shift is what creates external results.
The strongest force driving human behavior is the need to stay consistent with one's identity. If you identify as someone who finds a way, you will overcome obstacles. This identity is not fixed; you can consciously choose to expand it rather than be defined by who you were in the past.
You cannot create a new future from a victim mentality. Even if you were genuinely victimized, clinging to that identity keeps you in a reactive state and cedes power to the past. The first step to creating anything new is to release this stance.