When managing former peers, expect to be tested. A direct report challenged the speaker with a hypothetical scenario to see if he would jump to conclusions or seek to understand the full context first. Passing this test built immediate trust by showing he wouldn't abuse his new authority.
Related Insights
People become defensive when given unsolicited advice. To create an opening for constructive criticism, first ask the other person for feedback on your own performance. This act of vulnerability establishes trust and often triggers a natural social tendency for them to reciprocate, making them more receptive to your feedback in return.
Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.
In relationships with a power differential, leaders default to problem-solving. A more effective approach is to first ask a question like, "What does this diagnosis mean to you?" This addresses the subordinate's emotional and social anxieties, making them more receptive to practical advice.
Transitioning to managing managers requires shifting from direct oversight to a partnership model. This involves identifying managers' unique skills to 'divide and conquer' while balancing delegation with verification to stay connected to the project's reality without micromanaging.
New leaders must transition from being the expert to being a coach. This involves letting your team struggle and even fail. Ask open-ended questions like, "When have you faced something similar before?" to build their problem-solving skills instead of simply giving them the solution.
When hired externally into a role existing employees wanted, your first job is to build trust. Frame your presence as a net positive for their careers by understanding their goals and actively helping them grow. Show them you are an enabler for their success.
A common pitfall for new managers is seeking validation by being liked. A great leader's role is to provide constructive challenges and uncomfortable feedback, which fosters genuine growth and ultimately earns the team's gratitude and respect.
To build alliances with C-suite peers like the CFO, a new executive should act as a 'servant leader.' Instead of asserting authority, frame your function's role as being in service of their agenda. Asking "how can we make your life easier?" builds trust and collaboration from day one.
Joining as a new tech lead for an existing team, the speaker built trust by forbidding himself from giving direct orders or rejecting designs. He instead embedded with teams and used strategic questioning to guide them, helping them arrive at the right conclusions while respecting their expertise.
Employees should test their managers by asking how they make decisions. A manager who cannot articulate their decision-making framework is a significant warning sign, suggesting a lack of clarity and potential organizational chaos. This serves as a powerful "reverse interview" technique for assessing leadership.
