The most effective people are not those who shut down feelings to be productive. They are individuals who can maintain clarity and compassion, direction and depth. This new frontier of performance is about having a coherent, steady nervous system that can stay human under pressure, not just exercising brute-force control.
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Top founders don't simply "tough it out" or present a stoic front. They actively manage the immense stress of their role through practices like therapy and setting boundaries. Suppressing emotions leads to burnout, whereas processing them leads to resilience and better decision-making for the entire team.
Today's leaders are expected to manage employee emotions and take public stances on social issues, roles for which their traditional training did not prepare them. This requires a new skillset centered on empathy and public communication to build trust with a skeptical younger workforce.
The ability to accurately name a wide range of emotions—beyond just "happy, sad, or mad"—is a critical leadership skill. This "emotional granularity" allows leaders and their teams to process setbacks more effectively and build resilience, as you cannot tame an emotion you cannot name.
Brené Brown distinguishes two types of empathy. Cognitive empathy (understanding and validating feelings) is a core leadership skill. Affective empathy (taking on others' emotions) is counterproductive and leads to burnout. Leaders must practice the former and avoid the latter.
A defining trait of a true leader is their emotional consistency, especially during crises. By delivering bad news with the same calm, nonchalant demeanor as good news, they signal to their team that the situation is under control. This emotional regulation prevents panic and builds confidence.
Conventional leadership advice suggests suppressing negative emotions. A more powerful approach is to reframe the intense energy behind feelings like rage or fear as a fuel to overcome obstacles, rather than a liability to be contained and hidden.
Empathy, defined as merely feeling another's pain, is overrated and can lead to inaction. Effective leadership requires compassion: understanding a problem, feeling a connection, identifying a solution, and having the courage to implement it, even when it's difficult or unpopular.
With societal and political issues increasingly entering the workplace, the most critical leadership skills have shifted. Mars' CEO argues that empathy—to listen and connect with employees on a human level—and self-awareness—to navigate sensitive topics without personal bias—are now paramount for maintaining a civil and productive corporate culture.
Success at the leadership level requires a developed tolerance for pressure and uncertainty—a skill the CEO calls a 'stomach' for it. This resilience is a distinct capability, and its absence can cause even the most intelligent and talented individuals to fail under pressure, making it a crucial trait for high-stakes roles.
Leading with empathy is emotionally draining, but it's not compassion that causes fatigue—it's the distress of witnessing suffering without being able to help. For leaders, the ability to take meaningful action during crises makes the emotional cost a worthwhile price to pay.
