There isn't a direct gene for ADHD or depression, but there is a 'sensitivity gene' that makes individuals more susceptible to stress. According to epigenetics, present and nurturing parenting in the first year of life can effectively neutralize the expression of this gene, preventing future mental illness.

Parenting isn't a one-way street. A child's inherent temperament (e.g., ADHD, agreeableness) actively shapes parental reactions. This creates powerful feedback loops where, for instance, a difficult child elicits stricter parenting, which in turn affects development. The outcome is often misattributed solely to the parenting style.

Parents obsess over choices affecting long-term success, but research suggests these have minimal effect on outcomes like personality. Instead, parenting profoundly shapes a child's day-to-day happiness and feelings of security, which are valuable in themselves and should be the primary focus.

Countering the idea that parenting has little effect on outcomes, a twin study found that the twin receiving slightly more maternal affection between ages 5-10 grew up to be more open, conscientious, and agreeable. This suggests that small, differential parenting choices have measurable long-term consequences for personality.

Attributing traits to either genetics or environment is a false dichotomy. As the genetic disorder PKU shows, outcomes depend on the *interaction* between the two. Believing a trait is purely "in our genes" wrongly dismisses the power of environmental interventions, which can completely alter outcomes.

Economist Joseph Hotz theorizes that parents subconsciously enforce stricter rules on their firstborn as an efficiency play. By maximizing the oldest child's success, they create a role model whose achievements and behaviors will 'spill over' to younger siblings, maximizing the return on total parental investment.

To avoid direct competition and establish a unique identity, siblings often subconsciously pursue excellence in different domains. If one child dominates academics, another may pivot to athletics or arts, even if they have overlapping talents. This evolutionary strategy, called "niche picking," fosters individual success.

A study by sociologist Emma Zhang found an older sibling's arbitrary academic advantage (from being old for their grade) boosts the younger sibling's performance. This demonstrates a powerful non-genetic, non-parental mechanism through which family-level advantages compound and perpetuate broader societal inequality.

Kin detection isn't one-size-fits-all. Older siblings identify kin by seeing their mother care for a newborn. Younger siblings, lacking this cue, instead rely on the duration of co-residence—how long they lived under the same roof with shared parental investment—to develop their sense of kinship.