Most leaders are conflict-avoidant. Instead of running from tension, view it as a data point signaling an unaddressed issue or misalignment. This reframes conflict from a threat into an opportunity for discovery and improvement, prompting curiosity rather than fear.

Deliberately sitting in the discomfort of conflict, rather than avoiding it, leads to faster resolutions and a clearer direction. This process, while uncomfortable, forges a level of conviction so strong that it becomes unshakeable.

In a crisis, the instinct is to shout louder and match escalating chaos. True leadership involves 'energetic jujitsu': deliberately slowing down and bringing calmness to the situation. This rare skill is more powerful than simply increasing intensity.

Leaders often believe fear is the enemy of courage. Brené Brown argues it's actually the "armor" we unconsciously use to self-protect—like perfectionism or becoming overly decisive—that hinders bravery. Recognizing your personal armor is the first step to disarming it.

In leadership, especially during conflict, you have a choice. You can be a 'thermometer,' merely reacting to the emotional temperature of the room, or a 'thermostat,' actively setting and controlling it. Great leaders intentionally manage the environment, calming panic or creating urgency as needed, rather than mirroring the ambient mood.

Tying your identity to professional achievements makes you vulnerable and risk-averse. By treating business as a "game" you are passionate about, but not as the core of your self-worth, you can navigate high-stakes challenges and failures with greater objectivity and emotional resilience.

Contrary to common belief, feeling fear is not what prevents leaders from being courageous. The real barrier is the defensive "armor"—behaviors like micromanagement or feigned intensity—that leaders adopt when afraid. The path to courage involves identifying and shedding this armor, not eliminating fear.

The key to a successful confrontation is to stop thinking about yourself—whether you need to be seen as tough or be liked. The singular goal is to communicate the unvarnished truth in a way the other person can hear and act upon, without their defensiveness being triggered by your own emotional agenda.

Many leaders focus on having the correct analysis. However, true leadership requires understanding that being right is useless if you can't persuade and influence others. The most successful leaders shift their focus from proving their correctness to finding the most effective way to communicate and achieve their goals.