Highly successful individuals like actress Brie Larson often face staggering rates of rejection (98-99%). This reframes success not as the absence of failure, but as the ability to tolerate a high volume of it long enough for opportunities to materialize.
Grief is not a linear set of stages but an oscillation. People naturally shift between focusing inward on their loss and focusing outward on daily life. This dynamic process allows for both the recalibration of their internal world and continued engagement with external responsibilities.
Contrary to assumption, those at the very center of a disaster sometimes recover better than people on the periphery. This 'eye of the hurricane' effect occurs because the most affected areas receive a concentrated influx of resources, support, and attention.
Constant exposure to trauma can lead to desensitization, but it's not a healthy adaptation. Research on crime scene investigators shows they become unresponsive not only to horrific images but also to neutral ones. This 'immunity' is actually a broad emotional deadening.
Compartmentalizing is often seen as avoidance, but it can be a healthy way to manage overwhelming grief. Returning to a job with a sense of purpose provides structure and a space where one can feel 'normal' again, offering a necessary break from the pain of loss.
People are motivated at the start and end of projects but slow down in the middle. This 'goal gradient effect' happens because the middle lacks clear progress markers. Creating smaller sub-goals can counteract this demotivation by providing frequent feedback.
When feeling intensely stuck, the most effective strategy is to lower the barrier to action as much as possible. Setting a tiny goal, like writing for just one minute, can overcome the initial inertia and lubricate the process for more substantial work.
Perfectionism creates a paralyzing binary of success or failure. Musician Jeff Tweedy combats this by deliberately trying to produce bad material first. This removes the pressure for quality, increases quantity, and clears the mental space for more creative ideas to emerge.
Western cultures often view progress as linear, expecting good times to continue indefinitely. This makes them uniquely unprepared for inevitable downturns. In contrast, Eastern cultures often expect cyclical change, which fosters more resilience during difficult periods.
Post-tragedy debriefing is not a one-size-fits-all solution. For people who are naturally resilient and coping well, being forced to talk about their trauma can be counterproductive. It may cause them to question their own recovery process and feel pressured to exhibit more distress.
When you're unsure of your direction, the solution is not more introspection but immediate action. Trying different paths, even if they're wrong, provides valuable data about what you do and don't want. Action creates clarity, not the other way around.
'Pluralistic ignorance' is when we privately believe one thing but think everyone else believes the opposite. We feel stuck but see others' curated successes, leading us to feel isolated in our struggles. The solution is to realize most people feel the same way.
Resilience after trauma is less about age and more about the nature of the event. Both children and adults show high resilience to acute, one-off events. However, both groups struggle immensely with chronic, ongoing trauma like abuse or war, which overwhelms natural coping mechanisms.