A leader's greatest weakness can be avoiding difficult conversations with employees they care about. This avoidance, meant to protect feelings, instead builds resentment and fosters an entitled culture. Direct, kind candor is essential for healthy relationships and business growth.

The most selfish thing a leader can do is withhold feedback because giving it would be uncomfortable. In that moment, you are optimizing for your own comfort at the expense of your colleague's growth. High-performance teams require radical candor, which is fundamentally an unselfish act.

The U.S. military discovered that leaders with an IQ more than one standard deviation above their team are often ineffective. These leaders lose 'theory of mind,' making it difficult for them to model their team's thinking, which impairs communication and connection.

Leaders inadvertently stifle communication through three common traps: underestimating their own intimidation, relying on echo chambers for advice, and sending negative non-verbal cues (or "shut-up signals") like a distracted or frowning face during conversations, which discourages others from speaking up.

Research indicates individuals with lower socioeconomic status have higher empathetic accuracy because their survival often depends on reading social cues. As leaders ascend financially and socially, this "empathy muscle" atrophies from disuse, creating an emotional and experiential divide with their teams.

Creating an environment where people feel safe to speak up requires more than just asking for it. Leaders must actively model the desired behavior. This includes admitting their own mistakes, asking questions they worry might be "dumb," and framing their own actions as experiments to show that learning and failure are acceptable.

Leaders are often insulated from the daily operational friction their teams face. This creates an illusion that tasks are simple, leading to impatience and unrealistic demands. This dynamic drives away competent employees who understand the true complexity, creating a vicious cycle.

The non-verbal signals a leader sends in the first few seconds after an employee speaks up—especially if done nervously or imperfectly—are the most critical factor in determining whether that person will feel safe enough to offer candid feedback again. This micro-interaction has an outsized impact on psychological safety.

Many leaders are candid in broad strokes but fail to have direct, difficult conversations with individuals they personally like. This avoidance stems from a desire not to hurt feelings but inevitably leads to underperformance and greater problems down the line.