A prenuptial agreement is simply the set of rules for a marriage's end. By not creating your own, you automatically opt into the default "prenup" written by state law. This government contract can be altered at any time without your permission, ceding financial control to the state.

A prenuptial agreement isn't about planning for divorce; it's about customizing the legal and financial terms of your marriage contract. If you don't create your own, you are implicitly accepting the default contract written by your state's laws, which may not align with your intentions.

When one partner leaves the workforce to manage the home, enabling the other to pursue demanding "greedy work," a postnuptial agreement is critical. It formally assigns value to this unpaid labor, mitigating the significant financial risk and power imbalance created by the career pause.

Instead of battling over individual assets, couples should first negotiate the overarching ratio of their post-divorce living standards (e.g., 1:1 after a long marriage). This principle-based agreement provides a clear framework for dividing assets and support, preventing fights over minor items.

A growing trend in prenups involves clauses designed to protect second-generation wealth. Parents who plan to leave significant assets or provide ongoing financial support are now insisting their children get prenups to ensure family money doesn't become divisible marital property in a divorce.

Laura Wasser warns against clauses that nullify a prenup after a set number of years. Courts can view these as "promotive of divorce," creating a financial incentive for one spouse to end the marriage just before the clause activates, which could potentially invalidate the entire agreement.

Divorce attorney Laura Wasser explains that while people request clauses about infidelity, weight gain, or even household chores, reputable lawyers refuse to include them. These "lifestyle" clauses are typically not enforceable by a judge, rendering them useless if challenged and potentially weakening the entire agreement.

The state where a couple divorces is determined by where they lived for the six months before filing, not where the marriage took place. This allows for "forum shopping" for favorable state laws. However, a prenuptial agreement can specify a "choice of venue" to pre-determine which state's law will apply.

While a prenup is negotiated in good faith before marriage, a postnup often arises from a marital issue like infidelity. This timing can lead courts to view it as the first step in a divorce negotiation, not a marriage plan, making it more susceptible to being challenged and overturned.