While comparing oneself to successful peers is a known mental health trap, comparing your reality to an idealized, perfect scenario (e.g., making millions while hardly working) is equally harmful. This creates a perpetual state of inadequacy that can cripple performance.
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The venture industry has outliers who seem to 'walk on water' and others who get lucky. Constantly measuring your progress against theirs leads to dissatisfaction. The better approach is to focus on executing your job, which leads to long-term, sustainable success and pride.
Many successful people maintain their drive by constantly focusing on what's missing or the next goal. While effective for achievement, this creates a permanent state of scarcity and lack, making sustained fulfillment and happiness impossible. It traps them on a 'hamster wheel of achievement'.
On platforms like Instagram, you follow specialists: an interior designer, a fitness guru, a CEO. Your brain combines these separate expertises into a single, impossible standard for yourself, leading to feelings of inadequacy because you're not an expert in every domain simultaneously.
Perfectionists believe achievement will solve their core feeling of unworthiness, but it's a fantasy. Success provides fleeting relief at best and is often dismissed, while failure powerfully confirms their deepest fears of inadequacy. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle where the only possible outcomes are neutral or negative.
Ambitious people often suffer from "productivity dysmorphia," an inability to accurately perceive their own output. This creates a sense of "productivity debt," where they wake up feeling behind and can only ever hope to break even, never feeling truly accomplished.
A major source of modern anxiety is the tendency to benchmark one's life against a minuscule fraction of outliers—the world's most famous and wealthy people. This creates a distorted view of success. Shifting focus to the vast majority of humanity provides a healthier perspective.
The perfectionist mindset is so entrenched that it can re-interpret clear victories as evidence of failure. Achieving a top grade, for example, is seen not as a success but as proof of inadequacy because of the effort required. The goalposts constantly shift to protect the core belief of being flawed.
We become envious of a curated, 1% version of someone's life. A stricter criterion for envy requires considering their entire reality—the daily grind, stress, and trade-offs. If you're unwilling to accept their 'war,' don't covet their 'wins'.
The belief that perfectionism drives success is a myth. Research shows perfectionistic individuals often have lower income and productivity. The fear of not being perfect leads to paralysis and interferes with performance, contrasting with healthy "excellencism," which is adaptive and focuses on striving rather than flaw-avoidance.
Humans learn what to want by observing others (mimetic desire). Social media expands our 'comparison set' to the entire world's curated highlights, creating a recipe for discontent. The solution is to be highly intentional about who you compare yourself to, carefully curating your inputs to align with your actual values and well-being.
