Lasting change stems from identity-based habits, not outcome-based goals. Every small action—one meditation, one boundary set—is a 'vote' for the person you want to become. This accumulation of 'identity evidence' makes new behaviors feel natural and intrinsic rather than forced.

To sustain motivation for a new skill, the practice must be intrinsically rewarding. A guitarist struggled with a teacher focused on classical etudes but thrived with one who immediately taught her songs connected to her late father. The goal shifted from a future achievement to an immediate, emotionally fulfilling experience, making the practice itself the payoff.

The 'Be-Do-Have' principle dictates that to achieve a new result (Have), you need new actions (Do). But to sustain those actions without burnout, you must first transform your identity (Be). Simply doubling your effort is unsustainable; you must become the person for whom the new actions feel natural.

Setting a specific, achievable goal can inadvertently cap your potential. Once hit, momentum can stall. A better approach is to set directional, almost unachievable goals that act as a persistent motivator, ensuring you're always pushing beyond perceived limits and never feel like you've arrived.

Long-term success isn't built on grand, singular actions. It's the cumulative effect of small, consistent, seemingly insignificant choices made over years that creates transformative results. Intense, infrequent efforts are less effective than daily, minor positive habits.

Just like in venture capital, personal and professional goals often follow a power law. Each month or quarter, one single accomplishment is typically worth more than all others combined. The key is to identify that 'one thing' and go all-in on it, rather than diluting focus across a long list of lesser goals.

The most powerful way to make habits stick is to tie them to your identity. Each action you take—one pushup, one sentence written—casts a vote for a desired identity, like "I'm someone who doesn't miss workouts" or "I am a writer." This builds a body of evidence that makes the identity real.

To make better long-term decisions, annually ask what you will respect in 5-10 years across key life domains (work, family, health). This forward-looking self-judgment, inspired by his parents' end-of-life reflections, creates clarity and urgency to act now, rather than in the "ninth inning" of life.

Goals (e.g., "be a doctor," "be happy") are outcome-focused and can lead to frustration if not achieved. Intentions (e.g., "act with kindness") are process-focused and within your control in any moment. Centering your life on intentions creates a stable internal anchor, regardless of your job title or external circumstances.