The biggest professional and personal problems often stem from a lack of candor. Withholding honest feedback to "keep the peace" is a destructive act that enables bad behavior and builds personal resentment over time. Delivering the truth, even when difficult, is a gift that addresses problems head-on and prevents future failure.

Most managers fail at feedback by avoiding conflict. A better framework combines three elements: toughness (directly confronting the problem), kindness (offering support to improve), and clarity (defining specific actions and the potential positive outcome).

The most selfish thing a leader can do is withhold feedback because giving it would be uncomfortable. In that moment, you are optimizing for your own comfort at the expense of your colleague's growth. High-performance teams require radical candor, which is fundamentally an unselfish act.

A leader's failure to deliver difficult feedback, even with good intentions, doesn't protect employees. It fosters entitlement in the underperformer and resentment in the leader, leading to a toxic dynamic and an inevitable, messy separation. True kindness is direct, constructive feedback.

Keeping an employee in a role where they are failing is a profound disservice. You cannot coach someone into a fundamentally bad fit. The employee isn't growing; they're going backward. A manager's responsibility is to provide direct feedback and, if necessary, 'invite them to build their career elsewhere.'

Leaders often avoid sharing negative news to "not scare the children." However, this creates an information vacuum that teams will fill with the "darkest ideas available" from other sources. Leaders must compete with misinformation by providing clear, honest context, even when it's difficult.

To prevent defensiveness when giving critical feedback, managers should explicitly state their positive intent. Saying "I'm giving this because I care about you and your career" shifts the focus from a personal attack to a supportive act of leadership aimed at helping them grow.

Most employees avoid giving leaders negative feedback for fear of repercussions. However, a leader's ability to improve is directly tied to their willingness to accept the 'emotional hit' of criticism. The team member who provides unvarnished truth is therefore the most critical for achieving long-term goals.

Many leaders are candid in broad strokes but fail to have direct, difficult conversations with individuals they personally like. This avoidance stems from a desire not to hurt feelings but inevitably leads to underperformance and greater problems down the line.