We mistakenly believe external goals grant us permission to feel happy. In reality, happiness is a neurochemical process our brain controls. Understanding this allows one to short-circuit the endless chase for external validation and learn to generate fulfillment on demand.

All humans are driven by six needs (Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love, Growth, Contribution). While the first four are essential for survival and comfort, true, lasting fulfillment is only achieved by satisfying the spiritual needs of continuous Growth and Contribution.

Worldly proxies for success like money, power, and fame are finite and can be traps that lead to burnout. A more sustainable North Star is the feeling of "abiding joy"—a generative energy that increases the more you tap into it. This feeling signals you're on the right path.

The search for a single, true purpose is flawed because humans are dynamic and constantly evolving. Instead, focus on living purposefully by ensuring your actions, beliefs, and identity are in alignment. This makes meaning an active, ongoing process rather than a final destination to be found.

The ultimate aim is not to achieve conventional success, but to fully express your unique self. This lifelong project is paradoxical: you cannot become unique by yourself. You need others—friends, family, customers—to reflect your authentic self back to you, helping you see who you are.

Chasing visual markers of success (cars, houses) often leads to hollow victories. True fulfillment comes from defining and pursuing the *feeling* of success, which is often found in simple, personal moments—like pancakes on a Saturday morning—rather than glamorous, external accomplishments.

Instead of focusing on external achievements, consider that life's core purpose is optimizing your inner self. This requires a continuous balancing act between "order" (structure, habits, thoughts) and "vitality" (energy, spontaneity, emotion). True well-being emerges from this equilibrium.

A life focused on discrete projects (telic activities) can feel hollow, as satisfaction is always in the past or future. To find fulfillment in the present, philosopher Kieran Setia suggests investing in process-oriented activities (atelic), where value is realized during engagement, not at completion.

Since human life is finite, you will inevitably "fail" to do everything you want to do. Accepting this isn't depressing; it's liberating. It frees you from the constant, anxious struggle to avoid failure, allowing you to relax and focus on doing what truly matters with the time you have.