We believe reaching a major goal (like a weight target or financial milestone) will bring lasting joy. However, due to brain homeostasis, we quickly return to our baseline. This "arrival fallacy" reveals that fulfillment is found in the progress and journey, not the often-hollow destination.

High-achievers often get stuck in a cycle of setting and conquering goals. This relentless pursuit of achievement is a dangerous trap, using the temporary validation of success and busyness as a way to avoid confronting deeper questions about purpose and fulfillment.

We mistakenly believe external goals grant us permission to feel happy. In reality, happiness is a neurochemical process our brain controls. Understanding this allows one to short-circuit the endless chase for external validation and learn to generate fulfillment on demand.

A primary reason for goal failure is setting objectives you believe others (a boss, a mentor) would approve of, rather than what you genuinely want. This lack of personal emotional investment makes it easy to abandon the goal when challenges arise. True progress comes from chasing goals that make you happy.

Many successful people maintain their drive by constantly focusing on what's missing or the next goal. While effective for achievement, this creates a permanent state of scarcity and lack, making sustained fulfillment and happiness impossible. It traps them on a 'hamster wheel of achievement'.

Goals like making money or losing weight become self-destructive when treated as final destinations. To avoid the "arrival fallacy," frame them as intermediate steps that enable higher-order, transcendent goals like strengthening family bonds, serving others, or deepening friendships, which provide more enduring satisfaction.

Perfectionists believe achievement will solve their core feeling of unworthiness, but it's a fantasy. Success provides fleeting relief at best and is often dismissed, while failure powerfully confirms their deepest fears of inadequacy. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle where the only possible outcomes are neutral or negative.

According to Rubenstein, the intense drive required to be a great leader often leads to a perpetual state of inadequacy and unhappiness. He suggests the happiest people are frequently not ambitious leaders but individuals who are content with their personal lives, unburdened by the goal of changing the world—a mission that is never fully achieved.

Ambitious people operate under the illusion that intense work now will lead to rest and contentment later. In reality, success is an ever-receding horizon; achieving one goal only reveals the next, more ambitious one. This mindset, while driving achievement, creates a dangerous loop where one can end up missing their entire life while chasing a finish line that perpetually moves further away.