Constantly being the question-asker in a relationship, while seemingly generous, can be selfish. It prevents others from fulfilling their need to give love and support, denying them a crucial part of the friendship. True intimacy requires vulnerability and allowing others to care for you in return.

Suggesting a weekly ritual of sharing positives and areas for improvement can trigger a partner's deepest fear: that if their true self is known, they won't be loved. This discomfort avoidance is a major relationship obstacle.

Conflict in friendships should be welcomed, not avoided. The psychotherapeutic concept of 'rupture and repair' — a breach in the relationship followed by its restoration — is proof of a strong connection. Actively working through conflict facilitates growth, respect, and a deeper bond.

Periodically evaluate the people in your life by asking if interactions with them are easy, light, fun, or educational. If not, consciously limit future engagement. This 'friendventory' protects your most valuable resource—your energy—and creates space for more positive relationships.

The ultimate test of a good boundary is whether it opens your heart and makes you more capable of loving the other person, regardless of their response. It's difficult to love someone you perceive as oppressing you. A proper boundary removes that sense of oppression by re-establishing your agency, thereby creating space for love.

The quality of your external relationships is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. Before choosing friends or being a good friend, you must understand your own values and needs. A lack of self-love manifests as judgment and imbalance in friendships, as we act as mirrors for one another.

The people around you set your performance floor and ceiling. Conduct a 'friendventory' by asking tough questions like, "Would I let my child date them?" and "Are they energy amplifiers or vampires?" to intentionally curate a circle that pushes you forward, not holds you back.

Treat each person in your life as their own unique social media platform. This mental model helps you consciously choose which "feeds" you engage with, allowing you to curate your informational and energetic diet as deliberately as you manage apps on your phone.

Contrary to intuition, relationships mixing positive and negative interactions are often more damaging than those that are consistently demeaning. The uncertainty and emotional volatility of these ambivalent connections are more toxic and draining, making them a higher priority to address or remove from your life.