Contrary to evolutionary psychology's emphasis on matching 'mate value' (e.g., a 7 with a 7), research shows that mismatched couples (e.g., an 8 with a 5 in attractiveness) are no more likely to break up, be unhappy, or cheat. The initial perceived value difference does not predict long-term relationship success.

While initial attraction often relies on consensus (who society deems attractive), spending quality time together builds unique, shared experiences that allow for idiosyncratic opinions and true compatibility to emerge, moving beyond a simple "marketplace" view of dating.

Dating algorithms that match users on objective similarities are largely ineffective. Relationship success is better predicted by *perceived* similarity—a cognitive bias where people who already like each other actively find and emphasize commonalities, a form of motivated reasoning.

While dating apps are criticized for promoting quick, superficial judgments, they merely amplify and provide a platform for pre-existing human behavior. People make snap judgments in bars just as they do online; the apps simply increase the volume and efficiency of these interactions, for better or worse.

Being good at dating apps may select for traits like narcissism and a focus on short-term mating, which are largely "orthogonal" or even contrary to the qualities needed for a stable, long-term relationship. Success in the swipe-based marketplace doesn't predict spousal quality.

Premarital counseling often happens too late—after the engagement is announced and social pressure is high. By conducting counseling *before* getting engaged, couples can openly explore deal-breakers without fear of embarrassment, making the decision to marry more confident.

Going on over 100 first dates was not about playing the field, but an exercise in accelerated pattern recognition. This high volume of interaction trained the ability to quickly identify value misalignment, making the search process more efficient by improving the filtering mechanism.

Unlike traditional proximity-based friendships (e.g., neighbors, classmates), online relationships begin with a foundation of shared interests and worldviews. This pre-sorting dramatically accelerates the time it takes to build a deep connection, as the initial discovery phase is largely bypassed.

Divorce lawyer James Sexton theorizes that the process of negotiating a prenup forces couples to have brave, vulnerable conversations. This builds a crucial skill set for navigating future conflicts, potentially lowering their likelihood of divorce.