Citing philosopher Hannah Arendt, Rabbi Brous argues that widespread social alienation is a precondition for violent political extremism. Isolation renders people powerless and unable to act together for the common good, creating fertile ground for tyranny.
Philosopher Rebecca Goldstein distinguishes our need for connectedness (external validation) from our "mattering instinct," an internal drive to prove our lives have value to ourselves. Confusing these two distinct needs leads to misunderstanding human behavior.
A purposeful life can be framed as one that actively creates order and value (e.g., knowledge, peace, beauty) in a universe naturally tending towards chaos. Our best "mattering projects" align with this cosmic, counter-entropic struggle, giving life meaning.
The common impulse is to "fix" someone's grief. However, what people in anguish truly need is "withness": the simple, non-judgmental presence of others. The goal is not to repair their broken hearts but to ensure they don't feel abandoned in their pain.
People's diverse values and life choices can be understood through four primary "mattering strategies": transcendent (spiritual), social (communal), heroic (self-driven excellence), and competitive (zero-sum). Understanding which strategy a person uses can decode their motivations.