For those who struggle with stillness, active forms of rest like gardening or baking can be a powerful entry point. The key is that the activity must be intentionally unproductive, with no achievement goal. This active rest helps calm the nervous system, making it easier to transition to deeper, more still forms of rest like meditation later on.
When you have the freedom to take a lunch break, ask for help, or log off on time, you have a responsibility to do it. By resting, you normalize these behaviors for other women and team members who may not feel they have the same permission. Failing to rest perpetuates a culture of overwork, whereas modeling it creates a subtle but powerful cultural shift.
The jarring transition from a high-stress state to a relaxed one can be so uncomfortable that people subconsciously choose to remain in a state of low-grade, constant stress. This psychological principle, "contrast avoidance theory," explains why it feels so difficult to switch off. Recognizing this discomfort as a temporary transitional phase is key to breaking the cycle.
Instead of asking, "Have I worked enough to deserve rest?", ask, "Have I rested enough to do my best work?" This shift reframes rest from a reward you must earn into a necessary input for quality, compassion, and higher-level thinking. When in a fight-or-flight state, you lack access to the brain regions required for your most meaningful work.
True rest requires a mental break, not just a physical one. Use a technique called "noting" to detach from stress-inducing thought loops. When you catch your mind spiraling—even while physically resting—simply label the activity: "worrying," "planning," or "comparing." This act of observation creates distance, helping you step away from the story and return to the present moment.
High-achievers often avoid rest because of a deep-seated fear that taking their "foot off the gas" will cause their business and life to fall apart. This isn't just about missing opportunities; it's a fear of total failure. Overcoming this requires building trust through small, safe experiments in slowing down, proving that the business can survive without constant, high-intensity effort.