The same traits that make hedge fund managers successful—aggression and low risk aversion—make them difficult in divorce. They are more likely to reject settlements and push for costly, high-stakes trials.

A common early mistake is for couples to try settling terms amicably before involving professionals. The spouse with less financial information often makes critical concessions without understanding their rights or the true value of the assets, leading to inequitable outcomes.

Choosing a lawyer who only handles settlements can backfire if the other side becomes adversarial. The superior strategy is to hire a skilled trial lawyer who prefers settlement but is fully prepared for litigation. This creates leverage and ensures you are prepared for a worst-case scenario.

To avoid a legal battle, Laura Clery opted for a $5,000 mediator instead of hiring a lawyer. However, her ex-husband's non-cooperation dragged the process out for nearly two years, ultimately getting them fired by the mediator. This 'peacekeeping' route wasted significant time and money before she inevitably had to hire a lawyer anyway.

Nearly every client enters divorce professing a desire for fairness. However, each party, influenced by their own lawyer, develops a completely different definition of what 'fair' means. This fundamental disconnect in perspective is the primary driver of protracted and expensive legal battles.

Instead of battling over individual assets, couples should first negotiate the overarching ratio of their post-divorce living standards (e.g., 1:1 after a long marriage). This principle-based agreement provides a clear framework for dividing assets and support, preventing fights over minor items.

The gold standard for co-parenting post-divorce isn't just avoiding using children as pawns. It's actively demonstrating respect and generosity toward your ex-spouse, even when painful. Children form lasting memories of how parents behave in these emotionally charged moments of truth.

In a divorce without a prenup, the law views the couple as a single financial entity. This means the spouse who saved diligently often sees their savings split with the spouse who spent freely. The financially prudent partner effectively gets penalized for their good habits.

When one partner completely delegates financial management, they create a dangerous information gap. This lack of knowledge can be exploited during a divorce, leading to hidden assets and unfavorable settlements. Both partners should maintain a baseline understanding of the family's financial situation to protect themselves.