Intimate safety is when a partner can express a feeling—like sadness or hurt—that is logically indefensible without having to justify it. The goal is for the other partner to meet the raw emotion with warmth and compassion, not logic or debate, which deepens the connection.
The practice of 'eating the blame' is a tool for overcoming ego-driven conflict. A key test for its appropriateness is to ask if your ego is preventing the apology. If so, it's a healthy practice. If you are being coerced due to an unequal power dynamic, it is not.
A couple married for 50 years developed a rule: 'he or she who is doing any task can do it any damn way they want.' This eliminates micromanagement and criticism over minor differences in execution for chores, affirming the other's competence and valuing the effort over the method.
Neuroscience research shows that highly imaginative individuals sometimes exhibit reduced gray volume in the prefrontal cortex. This suggests that certain forms of creativity may thrive with less critical filtering, challenging the assumption that more brain mass in analytical regions always equates to superior cognitive ability.
The concept of '2E' or 'twice-exceptional' describes individuals who possess both a profound gift or talent and a significant challenge or disability. This framework complicates the binary sorting of people into categories like 'gifted' versus 'special ed,' acknowledging that profound strengths and weaknesses can coexist in one person.
IQ tests focus on explicit, conscious reasoning. They don't capture 'implicit learning'—the unconscious ability to absorb patterns and social cues from the environment. This skill, crucial for social intelligence, is often uncorrelated with high IQ scores; sometimes, high-IQ individuals are worse at it.
A listener realized her intolerance for her partner's moderate drinking was rooted in her experience with her alcoholic father. The work was not to change her partner, but to explore her own sensitivities. Often, what bothers us most in others points to our own unresolved vulnerabilities.
French psychologist Alfred Binet created his test to identify children needing extra educational resources. He explicitly warned against using it to measure innate, fixed intelligence or future potential, a purpose it was later co-opted for in the U.S., which he considered a betrayal.
After years in special education, Scott Barry Kaufman's academic performance transformed overnight from a 'CD student' to a 'straight A student' after one teacher recognized his potential and questioned why he was in a remedial class. This singular moment of belief was the catalyst for his academic eruption.
After being rejected from Carnegie Mellon's psychology program due to low SAT scores, Scott Barry Kaufman gained admission to the same university through its opera program, a field where he had talent. Once enrolled, he transferred into psychology, demonstrating a creative strategy to bypass a standardized roadblock.
A couple separated for three years after 35 years of marriage. This time apart allowed them to grow individually and escape a cycle of conflict. When they reunited, they could appreciate each other's core qualities again, leading to their best decade together. A long separation can sometimes save, not end, a relationship.