Negative thought loops, or "chatter," act like a sponge on our limited attention, leaving little cognitive capacity for the task at hand. This can also lead to "analysis paralysis" by making us overthink normally automatic actions, causing performance to crumble under pressure.
Time is a key component of our "psychological immune system," naturally reducing the intensity of negative emotions. Social media bypasses this by allowing instant sharing at peak emotional intensity, leading to unfiltered communication that lacks the moderating effect of real-world interaction delays.
When someone is struggling, resist jumping to solutions. Use a two-step framework: First, emotionally connect by listening, validating feelings, and showing empathy. Only after forging this connection should you shift to the second step: broadening their perspective and collaboratively offering tools or advice.
Experiencing awe—the feeling from confronting something vast and indescribable—induces a "shrinking of the self." This psychological effect makes you feel smaller in the grand scheme of things, which has the powerful side effect of diminishing the perceived size and weight of your personal troubles.
Don't aim to eliminate negative emotions. Instead, reframe them as valuable data. A little anxiety signals the need to prepare for a performance. Anger indicates a personal value has been violated, prompting you to intervene. This view allows you to harness emotions for productive action rather than being controlled by them.
We often give better advice to friends than ourselves, a phenomenon called Solomon's Paradox. To access this wisdom for your own problems, use "distanced self-talk." Addressing yourself by your name or "you" triggers the brain's "other person" advisory mode, enabling more objective problem-solving.