Living as though in a "temporary state" while waiting for a partner creates a life structured around an absence, making it inherently unstable. A transformative shift is to focus on what is present: nurtured friendships, a created home, and personal accomplishments. This reveals that love and meaning are already abundant.
Mirroring loneliness, "a-loneliness" is the negative feeling—stress, sadness, or anger—that arises from not getting enough time alone. This dissatisfaction with one's solitary life can strain relationships, as research shows those desiring more me-time were more likely to express aggression towards their partners.
The pressure to "love yourself" can be a burdensome goal. A more practical and achievable approach is to act as your own best friend: speak to yourself with kindness, view yourself through a compassionate lens, and re-evaluate perceived flaws from a friend's supportive perspective.
Extroverts often avoid the discomfort of being alone by filling it with digital social connection, a behavior described as "social washing." This prevents them from gaining the benefits of true solitude. By starting with just 15 minutes a day, they can build their tolerance and capacity for restorative alone time.
Societal norms often validate only a narrow set of life events like marriage and childbirth. To build a richer life narrative, individuals should create their own celebrations for personally significant milestones, such as a book launch or completing a medical procedure. Your community wants to celebrate what is important to you.