Instead of defining yourself by roles or accomplishments (the "what"), focus on the underlying values and motivations (the "why"). This creates a more robust identity that can withstand the loss of a specific job or pursuit, as the core "why" can find new outlets.
The word "apocalypse" comes from the Greek for "revelation," not just destruction. This reframes life-altering changes as opportunities that can uncover surprising truths about ourselves, challenge self-limiting beliefs, and ultimately guide our path forward in a more authentic way.
The forward-looking philosophies of Emerson, Thoreau, and James (Transcendentalism and Pragmatism) did not arise from idealism, but from grappling with devastating personal loss. Their work was a non-theological attempt to find meaning and beauty in a life filled with seemingly senseless tragedy.
Contrary to popular wellness narratives, denial can be a productive short-term response to trauma. It's nature's way of letting in only as much pain as we can handle, providing a sense of control and hope when we need it most to remain resilient.
Unlike Emerson who found comfort in nature's order, Henry David Thoreau sought out its wildness. This immersion in the harsher aspects of the natural world serves as a form of "spring training" for the inevitable difficulties of life, building the toughness needed to face loss and tragedy.
We often fail to appreciate how much we will change in the future, a bias called the "end-of-history illusion." This causes us to misjudge our ability to cope with major life changes, as we don't account for the new capabilities we'll develop in response to the challenge itself.