To capture someone's attention, former FBI negotiator Chris Voss advises against standard introductions. Instead, make an observation about their apparent state, such as "You look preoccupied." This unexpected "cold read" bypasses social scripts and creates immediate engagement.
People feel safe and empowered when correcting others. To leverage this, make an educated but potentially incorrect statement. The other party's impulse to correct you will often lead them to reveal closely held or proprietary information they wouldn't share in response to a direct question.
Open-ended questions tax a person's limited cognitive energy. To get better information, especially later in the day, use observational 'labels' like "It seems like you have a reason for asking." This requires less mental effort from the other person and often elicits a more thoughtful, truthful response.
People feel safer and less committed when saying "no." Instead of asking yes-oriented questions ("Do you agree?"), frame them to get a "no" ("Are you against this idea?"). This makes the other person feel in control, and their response often includes valuable, unguarded guidance and a list of their true objections.
Categorize counterparts as "Elves" (Easy, Lucrative, Fun) or "HALFs" (Hard, Annoying, Lame, Frustrating). Data shows HALFs require at least three times more time to close and rarely become repeat business. Learning to identify and walk away from HALFs early frees up significant time for profitable relationships.
Before anyone commits to a positive decision, their brain must reconcile all the negatives. As Bob Iger did with Steve Jobs, you must first allow the other side to air every grievance and list every con. Only after this mental 'debris' is cleared can they become open to considering the positives of a deal.
The human brain cannot be fearful and curious at the same time. When you feel fear in a high-stakes situation, consciously adopt a mindset of curiosity. This mental shift serves as a direct antidote to fear, placing you in a positive state where you are smarter, more observant, and better at seeing patterns.
Don't treat "no" as a final rejection. It is usually a specific objection to one of four things: the price, the terms, the other party's behavior, or the person they are dealing with. By diagnosing which aspect is the problem, you can address the precise issue instead of abandoning the entire negotiation.