Before trying to make a change 'feel right,' leaders must first neutralize the negative feelings it generates. Resistance stems from fear, threats to identity, or feeling controlled. Addressing these 'wrong' feelings is the prerequisite for gaining buy-in and avoiding psychological reactance.
Humans are tribal, and adopting a certain belief is often the price of admission to a desired group. This applies to politics, brands, and company culture. Marketers and leaders can leverage this by framing their ideas as a key to identity and belonging within a tribe.
Effective influence follows a sequence: an idea must first 'feel right' emotionally and 'fit in' with a person's identity. Only then will they accept the logical reasons for it. Most leaders and marketers mistakenly reverse this order, leading with logic.
Employees resist changes like AI not due to flawed logic, but because it threatens their professional identity. Leaders must help them envision a new, thriving identity in an AI-driven future before they will buy into a strategic plan. People follow beliefs, not plans.
Our brains engage in "inner propaganda" by filtering reality through our current emotional state. Like a news channel, our brain selects what to focus on and then engineers a narrative around it. The stories we sell ourselves become the beliefs we buy into.
The line between influence and manipulation is deception. Ethical influence identifies what the other person wants (even an intangible feeling) and connects it to your goal. Manipulation uses deception to achieve your goal, regardless of the other person's needs or wants.