Most arguments about money aren't about right or wrong answers but differing personal preferences and identities. People react defensively to different strategies because it introduces uncertainty into their own choices, treating a preference like an attack on their identity.
Even professional venture capitalists struggle to predict their breakout hits. Morgan Housel notes that at his fund, the companies that became their biggest winners were not the ones they initially expected to succeed, while their 'obvious' bets often failed.
Morgan Housel's massively successful book, *The Psychology of Money*, was rejected by all US publishers because its unconventional format—19 disconnected essays—was the opposite of what they wanted. This shows that to achieve an outlier result, you often need an oddball idea that breaks established rules.
The best spenders aren't frugal; they're strategic. They identify their unique 'money dials'—the few things they truly love—and spend lavishly on them. They fund this by mercilessly cutting spending on everything else society tells them they should want, like a fancy car or travel.
Money serves two functions: as a tool to improve your quality of life or as a measuring stick to gauge self-worth and social standing. The latter is seductive because it's easily quantifiable (net worth, income), causing people to over-optimize for it at the expense of unmeasurable but more important things.
Finance is one of the only fields where behavior is more important than knowledge. An amateur with no formal training but immense patience can financially outperform a highly educated expert who succumbs to fear and greed. It's not about what you know; it's about how you act.
Unlike PE firms focused on maximizing IRR, Buffett built a reputation for nurturing acquired companies. This trust allowed him to buy great businesses, often from families, for less money than competitors because sellers valued the preservation of their legacy over the highest bid.
Buffett's legendary wealth isn't just from being a smart investor, but from being a good investor for 80 years. The vast majority (99%) of his net worth was accumulated after age 60, highlighting the insane power of long-term compounding.
To determine if your spending is driven by genuine desire or social posturing, use this litmus test: 'If I was on a deserted island... and nobody could see our house, our cars, our clothes... How would we choose to live?' This exposes how much of your lifestyle is a performance for others' approval.
Even for the world's greatest investor, success is a game of outliers. Buffett made the vast majority of his returns on just 10 of 500 stocks. If you remove the top five deals from Berkshire's history, its returns fall to merely average, highlighting the power law effect in investing.
The greatest benefit of wealth is independence. Many talented people are poor employees under direct orders but are incredible creators when given autonomy. Money's highest return is buying the freedom to work on what you want, how you want, when you want, rather than being a 'good worker'.
Since it's impossible to know upfront which investments will generate outlier returns, the key isn't picking them but holding them. The biggest mistake is 'cutting your flowers to water your weeds'—selling winners to invest in underperformers. You must 'circle the wagons' around your core assets.