When you feel overwhelmed by an emotion while trying to listen, acknowledge it internally by saying to yourself, 'This is me feeling frustrated.' This mindfulness technique creates psychological distance, preventing you from being swept away and allowing you to remain present in the conversation.
To give feedback to a superior, focus on positive reinforcement. When your boss demonstrates a behavior you want to see more of, such as listening to everyone in a meeting, praise it specifically after the fact. This approach rewards the positive and is more likely to be heard and repeated than direct criticism.
To contribute to a fast-moving discussion without being rude, use a 'wedging' technique. You can ask a clarifying question, paraphrase a recent point to show you're engaged before adding your view, or state an emotion like 'I'm concerned about...' to capture attention and create an opening.
Instead of saying, 'You seem frustrated,' which can be inaccurate and escalate tension, acknowledge another person's emotional state by describing it without a label. Use phrases like, 'I can see this is bringing a lot up for you' or 'I hear your passion.' This validates their feeling without the risk of misinterpretation.
Instead of criticizing your manager's actions, frame your feedback from your own perspective as a need. Say, 'It's important for me to consider many options to do my best work.' This reframes the request as a way for them to help you be more effective, aligning with their goal of leading a successful team.