Humility is not an innate trait; it's an 'acquired taste' like beer or wine, which is often unpleasant at first. The process of learning humility comes from the repeated experience of losing in competitive environments. Initially uncomfortable, it eventually becomes a superpower for personal and professional growth.
The desire for kids to 'come to you' with problems can lead parents to enable bad behavior. To maintain this open channel, parents offer the 'drug' of no consequences and external blame. They become a dealer of entitlement and a lack of accountability, which ultimately harms the child's development.
When parents provide money to their adult sons, the underlying message received is not one of support, but one of disrespect. The son interprets this action as the parents believing he is incapable of providing for himself, which undermines his sense of independence and manhood, regardless of what he says outwardly.
Crying after a loss indicates that a child cares deeply, which is a positive trait that should be encouraged, not suppressed with phrases like 'it's just a game.' This passion is a foundational element for developing a competitive spirit and resilience. Teaching kids that competition doesn't matter can lead to apathy and depression.
Parents should not intervene when their child has a difficult or incompetent coach. This experience is invaluable training for the future, where they will inevitably encounter 'sucky authority' figures like bad bosses, doctors, or officials. It teaches them how to navigate challenging power dynamics without relying on parental intervention.
Current parenting trends over-correct by giving 'eighth-place trophies' and discouraging all forms of conflict or aggression in boys. This suffocates their natural instincts and prevents them from learning to handle real-world consequences. This leads to them lashing out verbally online because they never learned that words and actions have tangible repercussions.