Most people have social (fun) and collaborative (work) communities, but lack a 'formative' one. This distinct type of community is dedicated to the process of 'becoming together,' where members ask questions about personal growth ('are you becoming a better you?') rather than task completion ('did you get it done?').

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Instead of chasing connections, focus on internal development. By cultivating the character, mindset, and work ethic of the people you admire, you will naturally attract that high-caliber circle into your orbit.

Frame employee training as an investment, not a cost, because 'growth follows people, not plans.' Train your team beyond the technical aspects of their job to focus on building genuine human connections. This approach transforms a transactional service into a loyal community, turning your staff into powerful growth multipliers.

Individual self-help is often self-indulgent because we cannot see our own blind spots. True growth happens in a community context where relationships built on trust allow others to offer feedback. This makes the collective more intelligent than any individual working alone.

The word "community" literally means "shared gifts." This reframes it from a state of being to an act of doing. A flourishing community isn't one you simply join; it's one you actively create by participating and contributing your unique talents, like a potluck.

The most effective way to find a community isn't to search for a specific tribe. Instead, seek out situations of transition for yourself or others—like a new job or city. People are most open to new connections during these moments of change, creating fertile ground for authentic community to form.

Leaders often undermine community by over-structuring outcomes. True flourishing happens when leaders have the patience to let a group struggle and self-organize, like Ed Catmull at Pixar. This necessary 'messiness' is not a problem but the doorway to a new, more vital system being born.

Community accelerates personal change in three ways: it helps navigate rapid change through real-time peer support, it makes building new habits easier by removing reliance on individual willpower, and it enables results that are impossible to achieve alone. It externalizes the burden of transformation.

A community is not a collection of followers. In a true community, every member both contributes and receives value. This contrasts with an audience model, where a central figure broadcasts to a passive group, fostering a one-way relationship based on capturing attention.

Bianca Gates' "Lean In Circle" thrived for 13+ years due to its structure: mandatory attendance (only two misses allowed), a focus on deep topics (the "top and bottom 5%"), and strict confidentiality. This format prevents surface-level chatter and builds true trust.

The desire for connection and necessary skills often already exist within a group. A leader's role is not to construct community, but to create the conditions—like providing a shared space or a clear invitation—that activate these latent connections and allow them to flourish.